


Queer Eye for the Hawkguy

by askmeaboutmyoctopustheory



Series: clintucky fried chicken [9]
Category: Hawkeye (Comics), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe, Clint Barton Feels, Cooking, Established Relationship, Fluff, Idiots in Love, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Makeover, Marriage Proposal, Minor Kate Bishop/America Chavez, Queer Eye Makeover
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-16
Updated: 2019-09-25
Packaged: 2020-06-29 10:04:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,299
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19827868
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/askmeaboutmyoctopustheory/pseuds/askmeaboutmyoctopustheory
Summary: Can the fab five make self-proclaimed disaster go from zero to hero?





	1. Intro

**Author's Note:**

  * For [aw_writing_no](https://archiveofourown.org/users/aw_writing_no/gifts).



> this plot bug bit me and woldn't let go
> 
> all credit goes to aw-writing-no who first made this on tumblr and a few other authors who have made their own fics about this!
> 
> find me on twit @_AMAMOT

“Listen up ladies!!!! We’ve got a real important mission this week! A real avenger!!” Jonathan trilled from the passenger seat. 

  


“Is it Thor? Please say it’s Thor.” Antoni popped his head in the space where the center console was.    
  
“Noooo it’s gotta be Banner, with that ruffled professor look. Mm yes daddy.” Karamo said from the driver’s side back seat.

  


“Will I have to even do anything this week? Don’t they all live in the tower?” Bobby asked from behind the steering wheel.

  


“If you would all shut up, I would tell you more!” JVN said with no real malice.   
  
“And  _ I’m _ the drama queen.” Tan stage whispered.

  


“Now, everyone knows Hawkeye as an Avenger but this week we’re gonna get to know the man behind the bow, Clint Barton.” Jonathan pressed play on the iPad.   
  
“Why? I don’t think he needs it.” A man greasy dark hair and a metal arm was sitting on a stool with several empty stools around him.

  


“Oh my god that’s Bucky Barnes!” Karamo interrupted, only to be shushed. 

  


“Well you’re a bit biased, Terminator. Your boyfriend’s gonna be on Queer Eye, suck it up.” Tony Stark appeared on screen and sat in a stool.

  


The rest of the Avengers and honorary Avengers trickled in and took their seats. Finally a young dark-haired woman with a bandaid on her face came on and sat in the very middle.

  


“Hi fab five! I’m Kate and these are the Avengers. And we wanna nominate Clint Barton AKA Hawkeye for Queer Eye.” All of those seated cheered, even Bucky albeit half-heartedly. 

  


The camera faded out to a shot of an apartment building and cut away to the unmistakably sheepish face of Clint Barton. 

  


“Uh hi? I’m Clint or Hawkeye I guess.” He scratched behind his head, causing the fab five to make noises of appreciation for the biceps that were on display. “This is my apartment complex.” He gestured around. “I uh. Won it in a poker game against the Russian mafia.”

  


“What?” sounded out around the car before the men fell into disarray.

  


“Did he just say he-”   
  
“He has an apartment complex?”

  


“Ok but those arms henny.”

  


The clip finished up with Kate and Black Widow talking to the camera and telling them how much they thought Clint deserved this, as his oldest partner and apprentice.

  


“Ok wow.” Karamo said when the screen faded out. “This is a lot to do.”   
  
“There’s a black-tie gala in a week for the anniversary of the Battle of New York. Let’s take this hero and make him super!” JVN said and they all cheered. 

  


“Oh my god we’re going to Avengers tower.” Bobby said as the rest of them continued to yell.

  


~~

  


“Today’s the big day babe. You ready?” Bucky handed Clint a cup of coffee where his boyfriend was perched on the kitchen island. 

  


“I guess. I’m not too worried, you saw that they keep in mind what you want.”   
  
Bucky nodded, they had all had a binge party of all the available seasons the past few nights. Clint was a little nervous but mostly just glad that he could do something that would vastly improve Avengers PR. He liked feeling useful. 

  


“I’ll still be your disaster, just a little neater around the edges.” Clint kissed Bucky’s forehead. 

  


“Agent Barton, I do believe your guests are here. They are en route currently.” JARVIS interrupted their quiet moment, sounding as amused as was possible for an AI.

  


“I’ll go-” Bucky pulled back, only to have Clint’s legs wrap around him and pull him back in.

  


“Please don’t? Stay? And you know the rest of the team’s gonna be here in a second.”   
  
“Ok. And yeah, the others are almost all around the corner.”

  


The elevator doors pinged open and the common kitchen area was immediately filled with the boisterous energy of the five men. They tore Bucky away from Clint and immediately started fawning over both of them. Jonathan was petting Bucky’s hair while Antoni was poking around in the massive communal fridge. Karamo and Tan were stroking Clint’s arms appreciatively while Bobby just looked around awe-struck.

  


“You can all come out now!” Clint called when he started to feel a bit overwhelmed by the attention. 

  


The rest of the Avengers came bursting through a few of the doors to the side rooms. Both the fab five and the team wanted photos with the other, so after a bit of shuffling, JARVIS took one large group photo and automatically sent it to all of their phones.

  


“That’s only a little creepy.” Bobby said, looking at the ceiling.   
  
“I assure you Mr Berk, I am not creepy. I only assist when asked or when someone is in harm’s way.” JARVIS said, sounding a little miffed. 

  


“Right. Well, Clint can we see your area?”   
  
“Yeah. My floor’s the highest residential so hope you don’t get a nosebleed.”

  


Clint herded the fab five into the elevator, Bucky sneaking in after. He grabbed Clint’s hand and squeezed with a grin. 

  


“How long have you guys been together? And are you gonna be mad if we shamelessly thirst over your boyfriend all week, Bucky?” Antoni asked.

  


Bucky groaned as Clint started talking. “Well we first met in Milan-”   
  
“I was brainwashed!”

  


“He avoided me forever when he first came to the tower-”   
  
“I thought you were hot and I didn’t know if it was still illegal to be gay!”   
  
“Eventually he kissed me after beating my own high score in the shooting range.”   
  
“Truly a romance for the ages.” Bucky finished with a grin as they stepped into Clint-and his- apartment. “And no, I don’t blame ya for thirsting over this guy.”

  


“Antoni did you ask an assassin if we could hit on his boyfriend?” Bobby asked as he stepped into their living space.   
  
“Former. Former assassin.” Bucky said with a wink.

  


Karamo sighed a bit. “Can I just be up front? Bucky your war pictures in my history books were very uh...informative to young me.”

  


“Same.” Antoni admitted sheepishly.   
  
“Ok I don’t feel bad now.” Tan joined.    
  
Bucky just laughed and tilted his head towards Clint. “Well it gives you something in common with this mook.” 

  


Clint just shrugged and led them through his apartment. It had been mostly furnished by Pepper with his own tastes in mind. The sofa was long and squashy, there was a record player and TV propped against the wall. A jumble of his and Bucky’s weapons were on the other side of the living room. There were generally arrows strewn everywhere. 

  


“Oh. My.” 

  


The fab five all stopped dead when they came to his bedroom. Tony had engineered a king bed to be lofted about 10 feet in the air, nowhere even close to the ceiling. There were a series of pegs on the wall next to it rather than a ladder. Below that there was a dresser and various piles of clothing on the floor.

  


“What if you’re drunk? How do you get up?” Jonathan looked at the pegs skeptically.   
  


“Bucky can’t get drunk. He carries me up if he has to.”   
  
“Romance is alive, people!” Tan said from where he was digging in Clint’s dresser. “Why do you have so much purple?”   
  
He shrugged again. “It’s a nice color. Oh no-” He buried his face in his hands as Tan pulled out a spandex unitard.

  


“Um?” Tan held it up to his body. “This is the gayest thing I’ve ever seen and I’m married to a man.”

  


“It’s my outfit from the circus.”   
  
“Oh my god I wanna try it on!” Antoni grabbed at it.   
  
“No me!” Jonathan made a swipe.

  


“No you have to go do your job!”

  


“Oh right.” JVN swept Clint into the bathroom. “Clint baby. My beautiful bird. What is your usual morning routine?”   
  
“Uh. I usually wake up, brush and floss all that. Uh and wash my face?”   
  
“Oh great! What facewash do you use?”    
  
“Uh water?” Clint said, to which Jonathan’s hopeful face fell. “I just wash it to check the healing on most of my injuries mostly.”

  


Jonathan just inhaled deeply. “We’ll work on it. Now, your shower. I’m pleasantly surprised by these natural shampoos and washes!”

  


Clint at least had the sense to look sheepish. “Those are all Bucky’s…”

  


“Clinty baby! You mean to tell me the man from the 40s has a better hair care routine than you?”

  


At that moment Clint was saved from his shame by the whooping outside. Antoni was parading around in his old circus costume while the others heckled at him. Bucky was leaning against their refrigerator drinking a protein smoothie with a grin. He caught Clint’s eye and smiled more. They were having fun.

  


“So, I’m not sure I have much that needs done this week. Clearly some organization but is there anything else that needs fixed?” Bobby looked around.

  


Clint opened his mouth and closed it again, as if trying to choose his words carefully. “If you wouldn’t mind…” Bobby nodded at him. “The apartment complex I own? Some of the non-essential repairs and upgrades have fallen by the wayside? I don’t stay there much, but Katie-kate acts as the super.”   
  
“Oh that’s great! Of course! Should we go over there now?”

  


\----

  


They arrived at the Bed-Stuy apartment complex and were greeted by Kate. She was overjoyed to meet the fab five and quickly gave them a list of all of the various tennant requests she had gotten recently. While Clint took a few of the others on a building tour to assess the needs of tenants, Karamo sat down with Kate.

  


“So. Clint is like your mentor?”   
  
“Yeah, I guess. He’s more like my big brother or cool uncle. I got to know him a little after the Battle of New York.”

  


“What do you think he really needs this week?”   
  
“I think he needs to see himself the way I do, and how Bucky does, and how most of the other Avengers see him at least on a good day.”

  


“He has confidence issues?”

  


“He’s an unenhanced human on a team with demigods and supersoldiers shooting a bow and arrow.”   
  
Karamo laughed. “Ok, I see your point.” He paused a bit. “How do you like Bucky and him together?”   
  
“Oh they’re perfect for each other.” Kate said with a grin. “They’re both stupid in love with the other. They double date with me and America sometimes.”

  


“Ok. Thanks for sitting down with me Kate. Let’s find the other guys and get this thing started!”

  



	2. Tan

The next day Clint arose to find Tan waiting for him with a car. The british man gave him a once over and his eyebrows raised. Clint had tried to find a pair of clean jeans and a shirt that didn’t have holes, he thinks he was successful. The shirt didn’t smell, at least, but it may have been Bucky’s at some point. They arrived at a strip mall with a bunch of trendy stores that made Clint panic, but Tan put a hand on his arm.   
  
“Relax, I’m not going to make you change your whole look. Just want you to think outside the box a bit?”   
  


“Yeah. Ok.”

As they pulled into the lot, Clint noticed a familiarly crappy subaru nearby and relaxed a bit. 

“Katie kate! My best sidekick.”   
  
“Not your sidekick.” Kate grumbled as he pulled her in for a hug. “Hi Tan, nice to see you again.”   
  
They all strolled into an ‘athleisure’ store, apparently to upgrade Clint’s sweatpants to something more fashionable. 

“See these are perfect for relaxing at home or for a coffee run!” Tan said, holding up some joggers with leather knee patches.

Clint eyed them apprehensively. “Why- Ok fine.” 

He didn’t hate them. Tan was stacking a few track pants in muted neutral colors on top. There was a dark purple bomber jacket thrown somewhere in the pile. 

“Now-Forgive me.” Tan paused and gestured to Clint with both hands. “But you’ve got a bangin’ body, mate. Why not play it up for all it’s worth?”   
  
Clint shrugged and scratched his head. “I’m not one of the important Avengers ya know? Steve and Tony have to look good and be the faces of the initiative, I just have to kill aliens and occasionally shake some babies and kiss some hands.”   
  
Kate and Tan both tilted their heads for a second at that. 

“Clint-”   
  
“It’s ok. Baby steps.” Tan interrupted her, looking at her with a meaningful expression. “I really think you could pull it off, so I’ve thrown in a few cropped shirts, just to see.” He pushed Clint into the dressing room. “Now shoo, Julia Roberts, make yourself stunning.”

They ended up leaving with all of the sweatpant variants and a few of the croptops. Clint made sure they got the purple bomber jacket as well. He left feeling mostly excited and happy, but he knew what was coming up next. They left the store and went down the strip mall to the high-end menswear store. Clint tried to drag his feet to postpone the inevitable, but eventually there he was staring at racks of suits and fitted pants.

“So we’ll get a few plainer suits here, as well as some jeans and casualwear. But we have a tuxedo fitting later today.” Tan immediately started perusing the racks and grabbing things. “Now. Your jeans…..What is the story here?”   
  
Clint shrugged again. “They were clean this mornin’ and they fit.”   
  
“They’re acid wash and covered in paint.” Tan said, clear distaste in his voice. “And your shirt is almost see through, and not in the sexy purposeful way.”   
  


“I’ve been having this discussion with him for years.” Kate stage whispered to Tan.

“At least there aren’t cargo shorts.” Tan conceded, before turning to Kate. “Are there cargo shorts?”

“Nah, he likes to be aerodynamic.” 

“I can hear you!” Clint said from in the dressing room. He walked out in well-fitted dark wash jeans and a floral shirt. 

“Now. Not to be too predictable…” Tan started talking before fussing over Clint’s shirt to artfully tuck in half of the front.   
  
“French Tuck” Kate and Clint said at the same time, grinning in the mirror.

Admittedly, Clint felt like he looked good. He let Tan and Kate fuss over him like a life-size Ken doll before they left with several pairs of jeans and many t-shirts. Tan made him promise to burn the ones he was wearing before they broke for lunch. 

“So, what are you looking to convey stylistically at the gala?” Tan asked as they bit into gyros. “And keep in mind I’m dressing Bucky tomorrow as well.”

Clint chewed on his food, considering his options. Bucky tended to enjoy luxurious fabrics and textures. Clint usually just threw on one of his tuxedos leftover from his undercover spy days.

“I usually don’t do anything crazy, but if I’m getting a new tux outta it…” Clint paused, shooting an eye over to Tan. “Maybe something with like, uh. Brocade? Is that the swirly stuff? Or maybe something purple? Something different.”   
  


“Ohh that’s perfect!” Tan said enthusiastically, Kate nodding next to him. “It’ll debut your new and revamped look at the same time.”

After they had finished lunch and driven to Tony’s preferred tailor for a tuxedo, Clint was feeling a bit nervous again. If there was one area he truly felt out of his element, it was when he was stuffed in a monkey suit and hobnobbing with rich people who barely worked a day in their lives. He poured himself a glass of the expensive whiskey that always seemed omnipresent in these fancy tux shops and watched Tan talking to the tailor and gesturing to fabrics in their little book. Tan finally bustled over with his head completely concealed by a pile of coats. 

“Alright, here’s all their brocade and a few of them do have a purple variant. Do any of these speak to you?”   
  
“Hm.” Clint looked at the fancy jackets, touching them with his scarred hands and feeling the luxurious fabric. There was a black jacket with a dark purple brocade and gold brocade on the cuffs. “I like this one?”   
  
“Lovely, I’ll go get this one in your size and a few others just to see some options.” Tan smiled at him and disappeared into the back room of the tailor.

“How’re you feelin, C?” Kate asked him gently, knowing how he hated this sort of thing.

“I’m ok. ‘S not as bad as I thought it would be.”

“Yeah, I like the stuff you’ve picked out so far.”

“So do I.”   
  
Tan arrived back with a smaller pile of coats and some pants and gestured to have Clint stand on the pedestal. The tailor flitted around, pinning and tucking the sample jacket to fit him like a glove. Tan helped him with different shoe and pant options, as well as matching pocket squares and ties. Finally Clint had found a pair of dark purple pants in a slimmer fit than he usually went with, the brocade jacket and a black shirt. He left out a tie and indulged in black smoking slippers for shoes. 

“Well?” He asked tentatively, turning to Kate.

“You look good, Hawkeye.” She grinned. “Buck’s gonna flip.”   
  
“Thanks, Hawkeye.”   
  
  



	3. JVN and antoni

“Alright my beautiful baby bird, let’s talk about this hair.” JVN was posed behind Clint and was combing his messy blond hair back and forth. 

“It was in a mohawk for a bit before this. That’s kinda why it’s wacky now.”

“...Ok. And where do you usually get it cut?”   
  
“Truthfully Nat has cut my hair more than anyone else. For covers and stuff like that. Not a lot of time to go to a salon when you’re a spy.”

“Right.” Jonathan said. “Well what do you want your hair to look like in a perfect world?”   
  
“How much are you going to hate me if I say the mohawk?”

“Well you aren’t 13 anymore, but we can still do a short on the sides and a longer top?” JVN looked at him expectantly in the mirror 

“Uh sure?” Clint said, not really sure what he was agreeing to but not really that worried. 

Jonathan snipped and clipped at the messy blond hair. He chatted about the upcoming gala and how Clint was feeling about his makeover so far. He blow dried and cleaned up the random hairs off Clint’s neck before rummaging to find some products in his bag.

“Alright, this is some hair pomade. And not the stuff your boyfriend used in the 40s. You only need a little bit and start at the front of your hair.” Jonathan demonstrated. “And work it backwards with messy little motions.”

When he was done Clint had to admit that he looked good. His hair had that ‘artfully messy’ thing going instead of just plain bedhead. He ran his hands through his hair and nodded to Jonathan in the mirror.

“Great! Now, you said you only really wash your face with water which is honestly more than I get with a lot of people.   
  
Clint laughed at that. “Oh yeah like that summer camp guy. That episode was great.”   
  
“Right. But I’ve got this gentle facewash for you.” Jonathan pulled out another tube from his bag. “You mentioned a lot of injuries, and this wash has a healing agent in it to help your face bounce back and stay gorgeous when you get scraped up!”

“I didn’t even know that was a thing.” Clint said, impressed.   
  
“That’s why I’m here, henny.” Jonathan rested his hands on Clint’s shoulders and grinned. “Now do you have questions or can I just appreciate your biceps the rest of the afternoon?”

\----

When Clint arrived back at the tower, he found Bruce and Antoni in the communal kitchen. They were exchanging stories about their various travels and their favorite flavors to play with. Bucky was sitting at the big island with an apple and a look of amusement. 

“Hey babe.” Clint kissed Bucky’s cheek. He turned to Antoni with a grin. “This guy tell you about bologna casserole? Mayonnaise cake?”

“I know about vintage recipes.” Antoni said wryly at Bucky’s squawk. “Wouldn’t mind looking into some of them more. But for now, let’s talk about your cooking, Clint. Or rather your lack therof.”   
  
“Hey I have BBQs for my tenants like every month!”

“But Bruce says most of the time he’s the only one who cooks in the tower.”

“Well.” Clint and Bucky looked at eachother. “Yeah that’s true I guess.”

“I don’t mind.” Banner said softly as he washed a dish.    
  


“That’s not the point.” Antoni cut in. “You live with adults, you should all be able to cook. So for this segment, all of the Avengers are going to be joining you.”

Sure enough, the rest of the team trickled in in the next few minutes. Looking around at them, Clint realized probably Sam and Bruce were the only ones who could cook a meal. Spy training hadn’t really gone through a hospitality portion, Steve still considered sugar to be rationed, Tony had never had to learn. Even Rhodey was mostly stationed on bases with a mess hall. 

Antoni patiently showed them the difference between dicing and julienning, how to salt water before boiling, and walked them through a few simple meals. Natasha was taking notes, Steve was looking horrified at the overuse of spices. When Antoni and Bruce dished up the food and passed it around, they were all appreciative. After eating their fill, most of the team retired to other parts of the tower or room.

“Hey Antoni?” Clint said cautiously when he was the only one left in the kitchen. “I know you mentioned vintage recipes earlier ...and while I don’t want to dive too far into spam and mayo, would it be possible to learn something that Bucky might’ve eaten once upon a time?”   
  
“Aw that’s precious!” Antoni cooed. “Yeah I’m sure I can find some 30’s or 40’s inspired dish and help you with it. You free tomorrow?”

  
  



	4. bobby

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this is a short-ish chapter, for the Bed-Stuy WH bingo square

Clint arrived at the Bed-Stuy apartment complex somewhat early the next morning. He was going to spend most of the day going through the list of tenant service requests that hadn’t gotten fixed yet. Bobby and his team were waiting for him and they all settled into an easy routine of fixing simple electrical problems and unclogging drains.

“Where’d you learn to be so handy?” Bobby asked as they painted over the water damage in Ms Ramierez’s apartment.

“The circus taught me a whole lot more than archery and pickpocketing.”   
  
“That’s where you learned to shoot?”   
  
“Yeah?” Clint was confused. “Where the hell else would I have learned archery?”

Bobby just shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe you picked it up after becoming an avenger.” Clint just snorted at that. “Did you grow up in the circus?”   
  
“Sorta. Ran away with my brother after dad beat me to Deaf.” Clint knew his sob story was going to make the episode’s final cut and tried not to overdo it. “Don’t really remember much before that until I was left for dead and became a merc.”   
  


“So how’d that all lead to you becoming a superhero and-” Bobby bit into one of the cookies that Ms Rameirez had left on the counter. “A pretty awesome landlord, at least as far as my experience with landlords has gone.”

“Met the right people, killed the right wrong people, got taken over by an alien god, and crashed a poker game.”

“That’s not really how many people come about their business ventures.” Bobby commented lightly as he switched out the old lightbulbs for LEDs.

“Well. I didn’t  _ mean _ to get the apartment when I crashed the poker game. It just happened.”

“But clearly you care a lot about your tenants. Antoni mentioned a BBQ that you host?”   
  
Clint grinned from where he was touching up the baseboard, covered in paint. “Yeah, did I not show you the rooftop deck? It’s real fun. But I’m not really in the landlording for the money, it just kinda happened. I don’t care how much I charge in rent or anything, Kate does most of the day-to-day logistics.”

“That’s actually incredibly noble. Lots of landlords are scammers and truly some of the worst people around.” 

“Ha. You can say that again. I literally took this place from the Mafia. Not exactly winning any landlord awards.” Clint wiped his face with his hand, smearing some paint on himself. “But neither am I, so…”

Bobby packed up their tool kit and they made their way out of the apartment. “So, is that the last of the non-essential repairs that Kate gave you?”

“Yeah. Does that mean we’re done today?” Clint tried not to sound too hopeful. He liked Bobby a lot but the whole week with all this attention was starting to wear him down.

“Not so fast, birdie. We’re gonna swing by the Container Store to get some organizers for your apartment in the tower.” Bobby laughed.

“Can we get coffee first?”   
  
“Christ, you’re worse than Antoni. Yes we can.”


	5. karamo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> HI I'M SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG I WAS A COWARD AND DIDN'T WANT TO WRITE THE TRAGIC BACKSTORY OR RATHER I WANTED TO DO IT RIGHT
> 
> and then i was more of a coward and handwaved over it i'm SORRY fskfksksffks
> 
> i promise the rest won't take as long to update OKAY i'm sorry okokok (i just know this is one of my most subscribed to works and I'M JUST SORRY)

Clint exhaled deeply as Bucky pulled up at the place where Karamo had wanted to meet him. He knew that this was likely the segment of the show where he would spill his sob story and everyone watching would cry. Bucky rubbed his shoulders that had tensed up on the drive over with his metal hand and Kate popped up from the back seat to scratch his freshly-shorn hair. 

“You know he’s not gonna push you to share what you’re not comfortable with, right?” Kate said gently.   
  
“Yeah. I know.” Clint closed his eyes. “I just feel like I have a bit more baggage than most people on this show.”   
  
“And it’s ok to let other people help carry that baggage.” Bucky said softly, using the same words that Clint had said to him countless times.

“Where’d you both get so wise?” Clint joked weakly.   
  
“I have a smart boyfriend.”   
  
“I have a great mentor.”   
  
Bucky kissed him hard before shooing him out of the car while Kate made retching noises at the display of affection.

“Coffee?” Bucky asked once they saw Clint’s back retreating.   
  
“You know me so well.” Kate responded.

  
“It’s a hawkeye thing.”

\----

Clint walked into the bar and found that it was completely empty except for Karamo and another man who was talking to him. 

“Hey, Clint. This is Jared, the owner of Kick Axe bar.”   
  
Clint shook the man’s hand and noticed the targets painted on plywood behind them. 

  
“I’d go over the safety of this place but I doubt you two are gonna follow the rules, so I’ll just be upstairs if you need me.” 

And with that the owner retreated and Karamo and Clint were left alone with several axes and a pitcher of beer.

“Now, this is some real white people shit. Combining axes and drinking? What could go wrong?” Karamo said, eyeing the carefully drawn safety lines.

“A lot could.” Clint agreed as he picked up an axe. 

He tossed it easily and recaught it. He eyed the target closest to him and threw the axe one handed, hitting exactly in the bullseye.

“Hm.” Clint said mostly to himself. “Not bad.”   
  
“Not bad?” Karamo clarified. “Dude, that’s amazing.”   
  
“I guess.” Clint poured a glass of beer. “It’s all I’m good at. I can’t miss.”   
  
“Like, is it a conscious thing? You physically can’t miss?”

“Partly it’s conscious. It’s just been a part of me for so long I don’t know if I can miss. I might be a little off if I’m working with a new weapon-” Clint threw another axe, landing perfectly in the bullseye. “I might not be on the very top of my game. But I can’t miss because then who the hell am I? Just a dude with a bow and arrow trying to be a superhero.”   
  
“But you’re not the only unenhanced person on the team.” Karamo said, picking up his own axe and throwing way left. “Black Widow is not enhanced? Neither is Tony.”   
  
“Yeah, Nat’s unenhanced but she has years of specialized training.” Clint threw to the wall opposite them without looking. “I’m sure she’d tell you she’s better off without it, but it is what it is. I was trained in the circus, and that’s not exactly the same as an internationally known spy organization.”

Karamo just watched as Clint shrugged again and went to pull the axes off the wall. “You know it’s every kids dream to run away with the circus at some point?”   
  
“Yeah. Well kids dream about superheros now and it’s all the same underneath.” Clint said bitterly. “Just trying to find something fantastical to erase shit they’re going through.”   
  
“Tell me about your time in the circus.”

\------

Bucky and Kate were sitting in the corner of a trendy coffeeshop people watching when they got a text from Karamo that he and Clint were almost done. They hurriedly got to the car and went to collect Clint. He was sitting with his knees up on a bench outside the bar where they had left him, Karamo next to him. 

When Clint saw their car he stood up, hugged Karamo, and wordlessly got into the car. Bucky and Kate were both silent as they took in the other archer who had an unreadable look on his face.

“Kate?” Clint asked finally, his voice breaking a bit. “Is Lucky at your place?”

“Yeah. He is.” Kate said, exchanging a glance with Bucky.   
  
They drove to the apartment mostly in silence, only Bucky’s grumbling about the traffic breaking their comfortable quiet. Clint left without saying anything, letting himself into the building and into Kate’s apartment.

Bucky and Kate found him on the floor, cooing at Lucky and petting his soft fur. Bucky made a pot of coffee while Kate went over to sit on the floor by Clint.

“Hey? You ok?” She asked gently.

Bucky came up behind Clint and handed him coffee, holding his arms around Clint’s waist. He leaned into the contact and sighed softly.

“Yeah. Just a lot of… people-ing these past few days.” Clint waved his hand around and settled it back on Lucky’s head. 

“Well it’ll all be over soon.” Bucky said into his shoulders, not tall enough to really be the big spoon. “Except for the gala.”   
  
“I know.”   
  
They stayed like that for a while, petting Lucky and talking about nothing. Eventually ordering pizza and watching a dumb movie before Clint and Bucky returned to the tower. 

“Hey Buck?” Clint said as they nestled into bed, his arms around Bucky and curled together like matching parentheses. 

“Hmm?”   
  
“I love you.”   
  
“I love you too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> skafskfks I'M SORRY ONCE AGAIN
> 
> but i needed more kate/bucko friendship


	6. epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> wow this got so much fluffier and amazing and aahhhhh as always thank you for reading/commenting/kudosing
> 
> thanks aw-writing-no for the original idea/tumblr post!!!
> 
> ily all
> 
> @_AMAMOT

When the Fab Five turned the TV on in their loft to see how Clint was getting on with the gala preparations. They were greeted by the visual of Clint racing around the kitchen and something smoking.

“OH my GOD.” Antoni yelled. “I literally gave him a one pan recipe!” 

“What’s he making?” Karamo asked as he watched Clint on screen dump the charred remains into the garbage disposal.

“A sausage O’Brien skillet. He wanted something from the era that Bucky grew up in to make for dinner and we also have another little surprise.”   
  


Clint seemed to have turned the stove down a bit because he finished the skillet and put it on a back burner. He got a dish from the refrigerator that was covered in foil and sniffed it and poked it. All of the Fab Five screamed at the TV when he put it in the microwave with the foil still on, only remembering to take it off at the last second. 

“Noooo use the warming drawer!!!!” Antoni said sadly. “At least he remembered the foil.”   
  
With most of the food ready to eat, Clint walked up to where his tuxedo was hanging in his bedroom. The purple brocade coat and dark purple pants were hung nicely next to the sleek silk shirt. 

“Luckily, he  _ can’t _ mess this up.” Tan said. “It’s literally all right there.”

Onscreen Clint stripped his shirt off and began unbuttoning the shirt and slipping it over his broad shoulders.

“Mmmm nah you can go ahead and leave that off.” Bobby waved his hand at the TV. “Dinner and a show.”

“Dayyyum daddy.” Karamo said with a whistle once Clint was all dressed and turned to check out his butt in the dark purple pants. “We see you. Still got it, Hawkeye.”

Clint patted himself down and then took a deep breath. He went into the bathroom and looked at his face in the mirror before scrunching it up a bit.

“You got this baby it’s all ok” Jonathan said in a hushed tone. Clint reached for the gentle cleanser. “Yessss.”   
  


After washing his face, Clint applied a moisturizer and ran some pomade into his hands. He fluffed up his hair and looked at himself from a few angles.

“The moisturizer will help smooth out the scars and age lines he has and the wash helps those cuts and bruises heal faster.” JVN said. “He really is a looker though!”   
  
The others agreed and watched Clint stride back out into the bedroom. He sat on a chair and seemed to wipe his hands on the comforter. Clint reached into the drawer and pressed a button to lift up a secret bottom of the drawer. He then pulled out a tiny square box and the Fab Five gasped.   
  
“Did you-?”   
  


“Is he-?   
  
“OMG”

Clint turned the box around and around in his hands and then looked back at the drawer with a small frown.

“Noooo you can do it!!!” Karamo said at the screen.

All five men cheered when he stood up and put the box into the inner pocket of his coat that was still hanging up. He then took it out and looked at it again before putting it in his pants pocket. Clint grinned to himself a little and jumped slightly when JARVIS announced that Bucky had arrived. When he strode back into the kitchen Bucky was hanging up his own suit jacket on a hook by the door. 

“Hey babe.” Bucky grinned as Clint pulled him in with an arm around his waist and kissed him hard. “You look great and it smells great in here.”   
  
Clint blushed and looked down. “So do you. Look great. I mean you smell great too.” He closed his eyes and sighed at his babbling. “You ready for dinner?”

Bucky nodded but didn’t let go of Clint when he started to pull away, instead dragging him back down for another kiss that left them both grinning against each other’s lips.

“God, I’m so alone.” Jonathan said wistfully.

Bucky was sitting and watching Clint bustle around the kitchen with a small grin. The plate set before him was loaded up with potatoes and sausage that had come from a skillet and some ham. Clint looked around and then lit up as if he had just remembered something.

“Oh he did use the warming drawer!!!” Antoni cheered as Clint pulled some grilled corn out.

Clint finally sat down with two beers and the two men toasted with them. A few bites into the meal Bucky took his first bite of ham and looked up suddenly. Clint was watching him with a small smile and a blush across his face.

“What is….?” Bucky trailed off as he looked back down at the ham.

“Uh. Irish spiced beef. I got Steve’s Mom’s family recipe from the smithsonian archives and Antoni helped me make it.”

The other four of the Fab Five whirled to look at Antoni who just nodded and appeared to be crying. On screen Bucky was just looking at Clint with his mouth agape.

“You did that… for me?”

“Yeah? I love you a lot?” Clint shook his head. “Fuck. No that wasn’t supposed to be a question. Ahh I was going to do this later but…” He pulled the ring box out of his pocket and got up to kneel next to Bucky. “I know this isn’t very romantic and it’s not surrounded by everyone we know but I love you so much so will you please marry me and make me happier than I ever allowed myself to think possible?”   
  
Bucky was crying when he sunk to the floor next to Clint and kissed him with both hands on his face. “Of course I will. I love you so much. I don’t care that it’s not at the gala, this is perfectly you.”   
  
They kissed again deeply with the screen fading to black just as it seemed like Clint was pushing Bucky down with his hands roaming. When the screen faded back in, they were both in their tuxedos and there was a matte black ring with three purple stones on Bucky’s left hand.

“They look so good.” Bobby said. “They’re so cute, goddammit.” 

“Tan you really outdid yourself here.” Karamo added.

“They both picked those out themselves!!” Tan exclaimed. “I barely had to do anything for their tuxedos.”

When the walked into the gala holding hands a few of the Avengers waved and some SHIELD agents, but Natasha was the first to notice the ring. After she did, Bucky and Clint were swarmed by their friends and well-wishers as the screen faded to black again.

“Wow guys. Our first superhero!!” Bobby said, looking around at the other men.

“Hopefully our last…” Karamo said with a raised eyebrow and a long sip of his drink.

“Well. Hope we get a wedding invite but HERE’S TO CLINT AND BUCKY” Jonathan cheered and all the others cheered along.

“To Clint and Bucky”


End file.
